Crooke, Steele and Shaft
Houses for Sale (made up by Patrick Freyne out of his mind)
27 Shady Lane, Rosslare, County Dublin. Three-bedroom semi-detached house in a family estate. Well-lit sitting room, kitchen and front bedroom. Good storage space. Excellent pebble-dash exterior. No front wall. Excellent location. A bike-ride, a bus route, and a train journey from some one who once read a book about the city centre of Dublin. Accepting offers up to 475,000 Euro.
332 Moorefield Terrace. Georgian-style four-bedroom terraced house in a Dublin suburb. Plenty of storage space. En-Suite bathrooms. Downstairs extension suitable for invalid or lazy person. This property features a built-in cooker, bay windows, and a decomposing dead man. Requesting offers in excess of 725,000 Euro
Jessie’s Dream House. House-style dwelling in the greater Dublin area. Currently in the bedroom of a small girl. Perfect for very small couple. Dream Car, costumes and accessories are also included. Some repair necessary. Accepting offers in the region of 380,000 Euro.
5 Marlborough Place. An attractive apartment in a desirable neighbourhood. 5 Marlborough Place is a sizeable two-bedroom apartment. Measuring some 81 sq meters the apartment enjoys many impressive features, including wrap around windows, and generous living rooms. Built on an ancient Indian burial ground, quaint supernatural activity is a bonus! Priced at 500,000 Euro and one human soul.
65 Mullholland Drive. Sexy two-bedroom house in an up-and-coming area. Living room features special window ‘boards’ and the kitchen contains sink, junkie and fashionable ‘heroin baby’. Bars on window and local “colour” an additional attraction! Accepting offers from 390,000 Euro, a Pete Doherty album and a bag of smack.
6 Longville Road. A house with local history! A Pleasant 3-bedroom semi-detached residence with a garage and hidden room. This house features a storm porch, an entrance hall with under-stairs storage, and a spacious living room. Exotic human-flesh-like smell only adds to its appeal!
Accepting offers of 420,000 Euro and over.
Courtney House. House with potential, needs some work. No roof. No walls. No floor. Big window with no glass or frame. Perfect for the absolutely desperate or for a Barney-like individual with a good imagination.
Suggested price: 1 million Euro and a sound thrashing.
Under the Bridge. Unique property with a view of the river and surrounded by picturesque gruff goats. Some work required vis-à-vis damp. Perfect for Anthony Kiedas of the Red Hot Chile Peppers, a Troll, or a first-time-buyer at an asking price of 396,000 Euro.
254 Thomas Street (at the moment). One-bedroom Ford Fiesta built in the 1980s. Surprisingly spacious. Features an ash tray, a comfortable dining seat, and an intriguing stench. Exterior a special ‘smoked’ texture. Ideal for a homeless drug-dealer or a young professional trying to get a toe-hold on the property ladder. An asking price of 432,000 Euro.
15 The Land Bridge. Buy a beautiful four-bedroom-detached property in a historic location. Live for yourself on the theoretical land-bridge over which our ancestors crossed from France to the British Isles in pursuit of Elk. Currently under water but this might change. Perfect investment opportunity for a dazzled property-mad Irish peasant. Asking price: 9 million Euro.
Houses for Sale (made up by Patrick Freyne out of his mind)
27 Shady Lane, Rosslare, County Dublin. Three-bedroom semi-detached house in a family estate. Well-lit sitting room, kitchen and front bedroom. Good storage space. Excellent pebble-dash exterior. No front wall. Excellent location. A bike-ride, a bus route, and a train journey from some one who once read a book about the city centre of Dublin. Accepting offers up to 475,000 Euro.
332 Moorefield Terrace. Georgian-style four-bedroom terraced house in a Dublin suburb. Plenty of storage space. En-Suite bathrooms. Downstairs extension suitable for invalid or lazy person. This property features a built-in cooker, bay windows, and a decomposing dead man. Requesting offers in excess of 725,000 Euro
Jessie’s Dream House. House-style dwelling in the greater Dublin area. Currently in the bedroom of a small girl. Perfect for very small couple. Dream Car, costumes and accessories are also included. Some repair necessary. Accepting offers in the region of 380,000 Euro.
5 Marlborough Place. An attractive apartment in a desirable neighbourhood. 5 Marlborough Place is a sizeable two-bedroom apartment. Measuring some 81 sq meters the apartment enjoys many impressive features, including wrap around windows, and generous living rooms. Built on an ancient Indian burial ground, quaint supernatural activity is a bonus! Priced at 500,000 Euro and one human soul.
65 Mullholland Drive. Sexy two-bedroom house in an up-and-coming area. Living room features special window ‘boards’ and the kitchen contains sink, junkie and fashionable ‘heroin baby’. Bars on window and local “colour” an additional attraction! Accepting offers from 390,000 Euro, a Pete Doherty album and a bag of smack.
6 Longville Road. A house with local history! A Pleasant 3-bedroom semi-detached residence with a garage and hidden room. This house features a storm porch, an entrance hall with under-stairs storage, and a spacious living room. Exotic human-flesh-like smell only adds to its appeal!
Accepting offers of 420,000 Euro and over.
Courtney House. House with potential, needs some work. No roof. No walls. No floor. Big window with no glass or frame. Perfect for the absolutely desperate or for a Barney-like individual with a good imagination.
Suggested price: 1 million Euro and a sound thrashing.
Under the Bridge. Unique property with a view of the river and surrounded by picturesque gruff goats. Some work required vis-à-vis damp. Perfect for Anthony Kiedas of the Red Hot Chile Peppers, a Troll, or a first-time-buyer at an asking price of 396,000 Euro.
254 Thomas Street (at the moment). One-bedroom Ford Fiesta built in the 1980s. Surprisingly spacious. Features an ash tray, a comfortable dining seat, and an intriguing stench. Exterior a special ‘smoked’ texture. Ideal for a homeless drug-dealer or a young professional trying to get a toe-hold on the property ladder. An asking price of 432,000 Euro.
15 The Land Bridge. Buy a beautiful four-bedroom-detached property in a historic location. Live for yourself on the theoretical land-bridge over which our ancestors crossed from France to the British Isles in pursuit of Elk. Currently under water but this might change. Perfect investment opportunity for a dazzled property-mad Irish peasant. Asking price: 9 million Euro.
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